Not the only one

I know, it's my blog and all, but I'm not the only one.
I know, it's my husband and all, but I'm not the only one.
Part of me wants to block out what goes on around me,
part wants to absorb what goes on around me.

Not only that, I'm becoming self protective, sure
I can still put up a fight. That is a good thing. Now.
Other people close to me have died, sometimes it is crippling.
People have so much empathy. I know I am not the only one.

Grandchildren, contemporaries, the generation between
have all come thru with Rich and I. We all miss him.
Life serves up a schmorgesborg. Rich liked the buffet.
Either way, there tends to be a lot on our plate.

Focus and intensity defined the last weeks.
How did I do it? Not optional. I learned from the best.
I'm reminded of what Rich has said, 'one thing at a time'.
So you can become a lioness' too. I am not the only one.

Let anxiety get behind the rest of life waiting to be checked off
Completed. Left Undone. Put on the back Burner. It's there.
The white noise. Fatigue, illness, death lay you bare to it.
Death, as it got closer, overwhelmed anxiety.

When changing gears, the grinding drowns out other noise.
Grief beats anxiety down. Grief is very focused. Involuntary.
Grief more empowering than anxiety, death overpowering.
I am not the only one.

Sunrise between two ridges, mountain and fog.