I went to my first ever bereavement group last night, the first night of 'week five'. Week five of being Alice in this new, other, parallel reality. There is no word for this reality better than bereavement.
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss.
My purpose in going was to learn where to place my feet to best maneuver through the mind field. I guess there is a consolation in carrying the loss together, or seeing how people move through different stages of the process, but I am not sure how well I can bare another's story. Instead of one very personal broken bond, there are multiple. I was coming down with a cold last night but I think I actually felt the floor move as people did their 'check in'. These were not elderly widows sharing their updates. I felt like I wanted to embrace and escape the vulnerability, the rawness. Maybe what made me uncomfortable was finding out there are no footprints to follow in.
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| July 2011, B.C.*I think. |
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