Hilly Terrain

My mood and how to beat it ~ bicycle ride in the East Bay hills.
Yesterday made me scream. Today I'm up. For now.

I had to take out my 'warm' gear, low 50ºs. Sunny + wind chill. Down hill wind chill. My autumn knickers felt nice. Good fit, great warmth, muscle support, easy seat. I  dressed just right. See how much there is to learn to bicycle! Makes a big difference. The bike felt good too. My lungs burned from  exertion and chilly air, something I will not complain about! So good to feel the heat.

I broke the news to Sara that I became aware of something, my takeaway from the disaster of yesterday. I'm really impatient. We cracked up laughing. I didn't say it was a news flash. I'm not sure there is anything I can, or will, do about it either. It's a takeaway. Oh, I AM impatient.

Last night I was so tired that when I heard a small crashing sound I didn't bother to see what it was. Figured it was outside and I was too tired to care much. This morning I saw that the noise came from inside the living room. Short explanation... a ghost. Just sayin'.

The picture, and I, were off kilter yesterday.

My favorite photo of Rich's, from his recent exhibit, came off the frame, wedged into his drum set and avoided hitting the floor. I know the physical explanation, just have never seen that happen before. I sat with Rich. I said, ok, you got my attention. What's up? Wasn't complicated, he just wanted me to know he's still within reach. No doubt. Ok, then I'm in my office and I smell a slight odor of cigarette smoke. Rich didn't smoke inside, but if it was nice out and my windows were open I could catch a whiff when he was on his office deck. That was my morning. I'm not reading ANYTHING into this.

Wait, maybe he picked up on my downer yesterday! I did ask him if I should keep up the fight for the house. Duh. Here is the point. 'Don't give up.' Or, maybe, don't give up easily? Something like that. Yup, yesterday was a downer because I was sure not only did I loose Rich, but all my resolve for carrying on was GONE. GONE. I did get a full night sleep and I woke up to a prearranged bicycle ride. So I got off easily this morning. Just show up, pedal and breath. I'm home now.

So, thanks Rich. (said with slight sarcasm) What a mess. But just like Rich, he never looked at loosing, just working harder. I couldn't keep up with that most times. It is hard still. But he left that with me. I am impatient, but he said to stick with it. That is a tough one.