I made a mistake Thursday. I thought I could tough out Thanksgiving. I felt uncomfortable, I often do. I usually can create a safe place, take breaks. I walked to the school yard with the boys. Anytime I attempted to re enter the dining area I did a 180ยบ.
This is my mistake. I thought it would be intrusive to 'bring up' Rich. It would have been unbearably uncomfortable for a moment. Then we would have all had a reason to celebrate, because Richard would have been in our midst. I didn't trust me. I didn't trust them enough.
Grace was said. I could here it. I was in the boys bedroom. That would have been the perfect time to be thankful and acknowledge him. It was too much. Too much for me, and afterward I found out no one knew what to say, or not to say, or do. We failed Rich, we failed one another. I am not angry. We didn't know.
'Life Goes On' is a deadly saying. NO, it does not. Time literally stops. For good reason. To acknowledge. To pray. To touch. To cry. Feel deep sadness. Lift one another back up. Smile, wipe away one another's tears. Learn to drop backward into another's arms. Trust you will be caught. We are not so frail. And we get stronger when we share our grief with one another, as torturous as that might be, initially.
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| National Night Out on Maxwell Ave, August 2011 |
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| National Night Out on Maxwell Ave, August 2012 |
This post is beautiful Alice. The photos take my breath away. It's always better to recognize the elephant in the room-although sometimes it's the hardest thing to do. You always run the risk of people not knowing what to do, or wanting comfort themselves or worse yet, running as fast as they can. There is no easy path, but you are surrounded by people who love you. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. xoxo
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