You have become many Richies! ; )
You just didn't know.
You just didn't know how sick he was. You were shocked to hear of his death. What a job I have to tell you this horrible news. So many people. I wish I didn't have to, but I am compelled to keep searching you out to let you know. Even though it is a shock, you get to bare it with me now when it is raw for all of us. We are vulnerable to one another now. I get to give, and receive. I am so proud of you for standing up to the news. Who taught you so well? How did you develop the level of empathy to allow for this experience to intrude on you with such grace? I think of experiences, as the words were out of my mouth, that didn't fit the moment. I'm not talking about the Bronx smart aleck mouth, but the times when I had no idea how to respond.
What I've learned over the months, when something is said that tips me over too close to the edge, I've got to protect myself. You just haven't given me enough practice and now I'm in hyper-gear to learn because words are powerful and I am set on sensitive mode. Sometimes my arms and legs start tingling, my breathing gets caught and I feel light headed, then the tears and snot would be next, sometimes I thought I'd loose bowl & urinary function then pass out. I used to panic last week when it would hit, because it felt that if it started it would not stop. Now I know it's temporary. I acknowledge the tingling, if it moves on to the lightheadedness I physically move myself to a safe place to reset my thinking if I need to, or lay down and grieve.
You just didn't know.
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