John Lennon

I would think, what's worse? Richard functioning in extreme pain and fighting for hope against hope for a cure. Or sudden death, like Yoko, Julian and Sean's experience with John. The pain is different. The consolation empty.

Time spent living and anticipating the transition is a wicked gift. The only choice, how to spend that time. The same wicked horrible choice Rich was left with the Friday of Labor Day Weekend. 'No, I will not go to Emergency. Yes, I will die.' We knew, Sara, Crista, Harry and myself. It is sad. Rich wanted to live to 85. He had reason to.

Ellen said yesterday, 'Rich was so talented he did what he was told could not be done in his design work'. Ellen knows, she's a close friend and associate designer decoding his work as we continue to provide design service to Richard's clients. I had to take a break.

Rich never took a break. Even the Thursday before he died he sold a camera flash he didn't use. He told me he couldn't remember how it worked and had to look it up on the internet to tell the buyer. He was unpacking art for his exhibit. I told him to hang it on every hook in the house available, then left it to Rich and his brother Harry. I was already grieving. I knew he wouldn't be alive for the show.

John Lennon died on Crista's due date. I gave birth two weeks earlier. I was glad I didn't have Crista on the 8th. Richard was devistated by the news of John's murder. Rich was first a musician, than a visual artist. I though of John. I think of Rich.

Music, Richard Leon
One Minute Gesture Drawing from Life