Hate

Strong, and energy wasting, emotion for sure.

 Anger is a short madness        Horace  (Roman Poet  65BC-8BC)

But I feel it strongly. As I remember Richard I feel the connection to his mother. And it is not good.

We left NYC June 25th, 1977, the day we married. I created a roundtrip AAA triptik. Three days out I knew it was a one way cross country adventure. I love NY but I also knew our marriage would not survive there. I took on the adage, 'I came from the Bronx'. Those who know me, know that.

I used to not like Rich's dad and felt bad for his mom. There are child abusers I know that I'd be happy to spit on their graves. Instead I've done the dance of joy from a distance.

I have only hated two other people in my life. A day camp manager that put the counselors and children at risk. I called a boycott till the director showed up and I had it out with them. I was 14.

Today I found myself jumping from sidewalk crack to sidewalk crack on Maxwell Ave. Thanksgiving, I extended my hand to greet her, something I've avoided along with eye contact, since she moved out here. I had to resist telling the old witch, it is you that should be dead.

I do not want to see her again. I will not see her again. I am 56. *

There was only one other person that hurt my husband so bad that I would have gone to jail for running him over in my Caravan if I saw him on the street, or sidewalk. I was 33. It was the grace of god I didn't see him for years. He only got 18 months in prison.

People are hurt and are evil sometimes, with no redeeming qualities.

Sometimes there is no room for forgiveness.

*This is what came up for me after a weekend of basement clean out, speaking of catharsis! I feel better already.

Two rescue dogs Rich wanted to keep. We found the owners.

'Girl from the Bronx'