Harry Died

All Souls Day

Heart breaking, expected, but not so soon in my hope and prayer. It is nearly impossible to believe another star is in the sky rather than a light on this planet. He does no good in the sky. He belongs here. His work is not done. His capacity for generosity and love not exhausted. The temple worn down, the spirit mighty. Too young. 

I knew Harry since he was in high school. I dated his older brother, Richie. Harry was the rebel, the dark one, not willing to take what was handed him. He pushed the limits, he was angry and passionate, physically strong and impatient. He was gone before Rich and I left NYC.

Harry helped Rich die last year. He helped Sara, Crista and me get to the finish line with a strong shoulder and depth of compassion and love he learned to come to terms with. On the several close calls with death, he encountered and survived, he decided to chose love.

When I got word he died, his spirit began to filter into my being. That satisfied me yesterday, even with the heaviness of his loss. Yesterday I was surrounded by family and life, 3,000 miles away from the hands on work of death. We saw Harry in August. He was in the hospital.

Today I am nailed to the floor. There is death and there is the memory of life. No boundaries. Denial is a natural response. No matter that I imagine the three brothers kicking it up on the big stage of somewhere after life. 

Gene, the oldest went the youngest, leaving a wife and two young sons and a daughter. Before Gene had his boys, we all laughed about how the four brothers all had girls! My girls had all girl cousins, and plenty of them, on the Leon side of the family till the boys arrived.

Peter is at Harry's, helping where there is way too much to handle. My heart is heavy for Peter having walked all his brothers thru illness and death. Having his own too close calls as well. 

There are already plenty of stars in the heavens, infinite in all directions. There need not have been another Lion Hearted pin point of glow for many years. But there is. Harry left, and he left his strength for us to discover within ourselves.

A week before Richard's death. Rich and Harry too young to die.

Oh my Jon Jon, too young to see so much loss.