Red Tail Dog: The camera was light, my heart heavy.

I hiked and carried the Nikon today. It didn't weigh a thing. I was pretty surprised. I don't know what happened.

My heart felt like I was carrying a boulder. It was hard to breath in and out. The kilter was off.

SLO is a place Rich would have loved to live. It would be bittersweet if I stayed, but not as much as it is to be using the Nikon.

It felt natural in my hands, the heft, the light filtering through the lens. Rich found the lens that saw as he saw. I can see that too.

I hiked to a secluded beach, the southern most dunes below Pismo, crossing a boardwalk and a lake to get there. I do not mind being alone.

It is kinda funny to carry this massive black contraption knowing the community that surround the extraordinary technology and prestige of this gear.

I have a hard time with numbers. I'd zone when Rich described the newest and best about the camera and lenses. I'd have to laugh remembering his resistance to the digital world. What could possibly replace film? When the full chip came out, Rich was a believer.

It's all lost on me. Though I have the eye. We'd collaborate. I was RIch's editor. He loved that I could SEE and explain why one shot worked better than the other. He respected that skill. Right now the camera is a point and shoot.

I stopped back at CJ's for coffee and apple pie al la mode. Lunch! I almost choked on my coffee when the owner, about 5 feet away, mentioned to a waitress about a fundraiser for the dishwasher's nephew. Cancer. I was trying to ignore that that was what I was attempting to escape by burying my nose in the Nikon manuel to learn more about the focus. (focusing on focus, hum)

Then I thought I heard the same fellow comment on the camera. Must be some other mammoth pile of glass and plastic sitting on a table. Nope. I listened as he told me about the photographer that took the panoramic wall size photos above me. His brother shoots with the same gear. Now I realize why I haven't seen any women carrying this camera, it's a magnet for guys to talk shop. I was afraid I'd be found out, a poser! And I was! On day one!

He had to sit down when I told him who's camera he was looking at and what I did today. He is an emergency room nurse. His brother, a professional photographer and X-ray technician, in town. He was doing a CT scan of a child, when the owner called to see if he was available to come to the restaurant to meet me. There are so many ways a heart can hurt.