Mocha

Chocolate and Coffee

Nothing is giving me the boost. I miss Rich, my knee hurts, sad about challenges family and friends have, mad about our damed dysfunctional 'leadership', and tired of fighting with big bank over my home. 

This morning I moved my car for alternate side of the street parking and find out from a neighbor, ACCE is meeting to finalize an action for me, my home, against big bank. People that have been there, done this, and got results.

Emily continually describes how she sees the house as mine. Joel fixing a leaky door and studio roof, trimming trees. Me cleaning off the deck furniture, enjoying the yard. 

Shot to sh*t. Too worn down to care that it's worth the aggravation of doing the process yet again. Too tired to care. Knowing everything is temporary doesn't matter. That I will feel differently another day, doesn't matter. 

Fighting on because it is the right thing to do, putting out energy because it was one of the last things RIch worked on before he died, knowing it is worth the fight, don't matter. 

Chocolate and coffee and writing aren't making a difference. Loving support and encouragement should make a difference. A hike may help. Planning an escape could motivate me.

'Just do it'. ahuh.